I have found that there are two very different ways of handling fears. Choosing how we cope with our fears may be influenced by what we have learned from our parents or close family members. No matter what our upbringing, it is of course normal that we are all faced with fears at some point in our lives. We can try to face our fears head on and find a way to deal with them, in order to try to move past them or, we can choose to ignore or avoid them and hope they will go away on their own.
Now that I’m an adult I feel that facing your fears ‘head on’ is the better decision. I think it’s true that “What you resist, persists”. What it’s saying is, because you are always fighting the fear, it’s always in your consciousness. It’s always got a hold on you.
I realize now that as a child I actually believed quite the opposite. I avoided and tried to ignore my biggest fears. I struggled with reading and writing, and honestly, any school related learning. And if I’m being completely honest, I still hold fear in me around these topics. I have realized that I must face these insecurities. Having to practise these school learning skills with my own kids is helping me gain confidence.
At a very young age, in SK to be exact, my Mom, who is also a kindergarten teacher realized that I had a learning disability in literacy. She tried to get the school to hold me back a year so I could gain a better grasp on the skills I needed, however, the school system didn’t believe in holding students back. (Thank goodness!….since my whole life would have been different.) Unfortunately, in the middle of my grade four year, I did have to change schools to attend a ‘special class’. It was so sad and very traumatizing. I was leaving all my very best friends and joining a new class with 8 or 9 other students, where at times I might have been the only girl! The most stressful part was how the rest of the school labelled our class….’the Stupid class’. It was about 30 years ago and bullying was not really a focused upon topic. I’m very happy it is now, for our kids’ generation. Back then kids seemed to be able to call you ‘dumb’, ‘stupid’ and even ‘retarded’ … a word which has pretty much been banned, and thank goodness for that! I actually hate when I hear the word used. Basically back then the kids made fun of you at recess or in the hallways.
A doctor I was taken to, prescribed glasses for the purpose of improving how my brain processed things. I absolutely refused to use them. I hid them, I lost them, I broke them…I did it all. They could make me change schools but they could not make me wear glasses. Of course now I think glasses are great and help you create different looks, along with being functional!
During that time, I believed I was all those names I’d been called. In fact, I called myself those same things, probably all through elementary and high school. I put up such a hard wall when it came to learning as a child, it just put me further and further behind. When I think about it, I see that I completely blocked myself to learning. I felt like if I didn’t bother trying, people would not be able to see that I couldn’t do it. Better to just not do it. No one would see how bad I really was.
When I look back now I realize that if I had just applied myself…..not been afraid to put myself out there…if I’d faced my fear ‘head on’, I would never have been so far behind. I also wish that I had been able to see that my Mom was trying to help me. Her efforts to teach me strategies and to encourage me to practice just annoyed me then. I was resentful and unmotivated. I just did not want to learn at all. I remember in grade 1, my Mom sitting beside me crying, as she tried to teach me to read this book ‘Surprise Surprise’. I resisted her so strongly. Why was she crying? I couldn’t understand and it made me so angry inside. I can see now how she must have felt, how much she wanted to help, how frustrated she must have been…..but at the time I couldn’t believe she was crying about this. I thought it was no big deal…who cares? Boy was I wrong…
After spending half of grade 4 and all of grade 5 at a new school I was moved back to my original school with all my friends. It was exciting and at the same time very scary. Change is always hard; especially for kids. And being accepted in social circles was so very important. Once I had been reunited with my smart, good girl core group of friends, with whom I am still connected today, I basically copied what I needed from them. They guided me. I feel like all the teachers knew how far behind I was but they kept me moving through the grades.
My fear of school and learning was a problem I had run so quickly from. If I could inspire any young people who are having trouble in school, with this blog, it would make me so happy. I would say practise makes perfect in any and every avenue of life. Set goals, be determined and never feel fear in admitting if you’re not comprehending. Asking questions and finding answers is the only way you can learn and understand. Confidence is so important in life, the harder you work at something the prouder and better you feel. Challenge yourself!
As we move through our journey here on earth, a variety of issues, obstacles, challenges and even amazing opportunities will pop up for us. Sometimes even when change is positive it’s still very scary.
As I continue to use Reiki on myself, loved ones and clients I see how it can give you the power to change your habits and patterns in thinking and reacting to issues and situations that pop up in your life. Sometimes just acknowledging your fears can help you shed light on them. Reiki can help you do this.
The whole human being, mind, body and spirit will all feel energetically lighter as we let go of fear. Our fears run deep and providing yourself the opportunity, the right amount of time in sessions, asking yourself the right questions…you will be amazed how you can see life though a different lens.